i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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