Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
"it" just moved
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
