Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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