ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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