He is like the real live version of the state fair..
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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