He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
