You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i drank out of a bidet.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
