we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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