new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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