I should be sponsored by Trojan
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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