I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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