But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
