So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
