you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
