Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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