I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
