Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
