what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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