What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
