Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
