make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
