you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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