Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
