C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
