I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
