Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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