Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
God I need to hump something, right now.
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