Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
you made out with another girl for some wings
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
