Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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