Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
