if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
