i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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