nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
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