I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
