I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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