I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
