Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
