I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
