she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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