What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
dude. I can hear the air.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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