Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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