Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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