I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Randomize
