True but thats because hes a fetus.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm gonna fight the coyote
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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