Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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