i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
