Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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