3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Shame is for Republicans.
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