He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
