i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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