I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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