Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
