i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
